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A few weeks ago, I joined Mark Azoulay on the Men’s Online Therapy Podcast to talk about something that has become central to both my work and my life: Latalescence. If the word is new to you, it’s because I recently coined it. Think of it as “late adolescence.” But unlike adolescence, which…
Most of us were taught to mistrust the very feelings that make us human. In Affect Relational Theory (A.R.T.), I focus on five core feelings: affective responses that guide emotional life before we even have language.
Group therapy is one of the most powerful, affordable, and transformative mental health services available today. Whether you’re searching for group therapy near you, support groups in Atlanta or Washington, D.C., or looking for online group therapy options, the benefits are profound and deeply…
Imagine a moment when disappointment threatened to define you, but instead, you chose to see it as a stepping stone to growth. This is the essence of Latalescence: a transformative phase in which we rewrite our emotional scripts and take charge of our happiness.
Understanding and identifying affects is the foundation of emotional and relational intelligence. If you want to improve your relationships, communication, and overall emotional well-being, recognizing these core feelings in yourself and others is not optional—it’s essential. Affects are the…
A.R.T.-Based Guidelines for Resolving Differences Healthy Disagreement and Affective Awareness Disagreements and differences are an inevitable and expected part of any relationship. This reassurance can help you navigate these moments confidently, knowing they are not signs of failure but growth…
Start Identifying CSS in your life with this article as your guide. We often hear about burnout, imposter syndrome, and anxiety in the workplace. But there’s another condition that may be holding back countless professionals: Chronic Shame Syndrome (CSS). If you’ve ever felt fundamentally flawed…
Emotional void. We humans are born curious creatures who crave agency. If anything defines being human, it is the desire to make our world coherent and feel better. Our most fundamental questions center around these issues from childhood until our final moments. We are biologically wired to be…
Understanding regret – a universally human experience, a sentiment that resonates with each of us. Whether it’s a career decision we wish we could take back, a relationship we wish we had handled differently, or simply a moment we wish we could redo; regret can linger in our minds, influencing…
Here’s how you can begin your journey back to the feeling console, embracing your entire emotional self with the help of Affect Relational Theory (A.R.T.): 1. Recognize All Affects/Emotions The ‘feeling console’ is a metaphor for your emotional center, where all your feelings and affects are…
Understanding our emotions and how they work can often feel like a puzzle. Affect Theory, a concept developed by psychologist Silvan Tomkins, offers a fascinating framework for unraveling this puzzle. This theory explains how our basic affects—simple, automatic responses to stimuli—combine to…
As a licensed psychologist with over three decades of experience, I’ve observed a recurring pattern in many of my patients that I’ve come to call Chronic Shame Syndrome. While not an official diagnosis, this condition affects countless individuals, significantly impacting their daily lives and…
Welcome to the Meaningful Happiness podcast, where we explore emotions and the feelings that shape our lives. I’m Dr. Scott Conkright, the host of this podcast and the founder of the platforms Meaningful Happiness and The Relationship Workshops. Today, we dive into Understanding Chronic Shame…
Welcome back to the Meaningful Happiness Podcast, where we explore the intricate world of emotions and relationships through the innovative framework of Affect Relational Therapy. I’m Dr. Scott Conkright, and today, we’re diving into the fascinating world of emotions, affects, and what I like to…
Welcome back to the Meaningful Happiness Podcast, where we explore the intricate world of emotions and relationships through the innovative framework of Affect Relational Therapy. I’m Dr. Scott Conkright, and today we’re diving into the emotional rollercoaster of adolescence as depicted in…
Feeling Management: The Key to Stronger Relationships As the founder of Affect Relational Therapy, I’m here to shed light on a topic that holds the key to meaningful connections and true happiness – understanding and controlling your feelings. Why is this so important? Because as you know, life…
As a licensed psychologist and founder of Meaningful Happiness and The Relationship Workshops, I’m here to shed light on a topic that might seem intellectual or academic, but is deeply rooted in our feelings and emotional experiences. The question I pose to you is this: what’s more important to…
Pride Month is a time of celebration, reflection, and advocacy for the LGBTQ+ community. It’s a period dedicated to honoring the history, achievements, and resilience of LGBTQ+ individuals and promoting awareness and acceptance. For those passionate about personal growth and social justice,…
Hello, everyone. Dr. Scott Conkright, also known as the Affect Doc, is here. In today’s discussion, we’ll delve into a complex emotion that often goes unaddressed yet significantly influences our interactions and self-perception: shame. Shame, a universal yet profoundly personal emotion,…
Scott Conkright, Psy.D. The secret to unlocking intimacy – Navigating the complexities of intimate relationships can be a challenging journey that requires understanding, patience, and a deep awareness of the emotional currents that influence our interactions. Whether in month two of a new…
Shame is your spirit guide. Shame motivates you to correct real or imagined “bad” things, improve them, and bring you closer to some ideal – full knowledge and a sense of belonging to everyone, including God. Shame is also a protector. And it will protect you with the best weapons it has been…
Scott: I am curious about the implications if we started writing history from the point of view of what effects were salient at the time. ChattyG: Writing history from the perspective of affect, as outlined in Tomkins’s theory of innate affects, would fundamentally alter our understanding and…
What causes attachment styles? This comprehensive exploration delves into how attachment styles, conceptualized through the lenses of anxious-ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized categories, play a crucial role in shaping individuals’ strategies for managing shame and vulnerability. It…
This is the first in a series of conversations I had with Chatgpt about AI, Affect Theory, and how to code for feelings. I cleaned up the chat with Grammerly to make it easier to read (and fix obvious grammar and spelling issues.) You are otherwise getting the chat in its entirety. From my first
Imagine standing on a breezy hill at dusk, watching a flock of birds dance across the sky. Each bird, seemingly mindful of its neighbors, moves in a harmonious ballet of dips, rises, splits, and converges. This mesmerizing natural spectacle, known as a murmuration, is a wonder of nature and the…
The Claustral: Safe Haven or Self-Suffocation? When I’m at conventions, like I was a couple of weeks ago in DC, after a long day of being with others, even the relative unfamiliarity and intentional impersonalness of my hotel room can provide emotional comfort and sustenance. It becomes my room;…
Blamecasting, shaming, and gaslighting are distinct tactics used in relationships that can negatively impact an individual’s emotional well-being and self-perception. Still, they differ significantly in their approaches and effects. Blamecasting: Blamecasting, a term I coined to explain this…
Today, let’s delve into a pivotal yet often undervalued aspect of therapeutic work: shame, through the lens of Silvan Tompkins’ affect theory. Understanding and addressing shame within this framework is not just an academic exercise; it’s a crucial component of effective therapy and personal…
The Invisible Chains: Shame in Intimate Relationships Shame is a potent, often covert force that can erode the foundations of our intimate relationships. It exploits our insecurities, perceived flaws, or vulnerabilities, effectively maintaining a power imbalance within the partnership. When one…
Silvan Tompkins, a prominent thinker in psychology, had a unique take on shame. According to him, shame is like an automatic, built-in response that kicks in whenever something blocks our good vibes, precisely the excitement of discovering new things or the joy we feel when we’re having a great…
You’re not alone if you’re navigating the challenging waters of unemployment. But did you know that understanding and managing the shame often associated with job loss can be your secret weapon in this journey? Affect Relational Therapy (A.R.T.) offers a unique perspective on how to turn this…
Did you know that in Relational Intelligence there are only nine affects (feelings)? Did you know that they are biologically based, innate, reflexive responses to stimuli that come from both inside and outside our bodies? Did you know that without affect you can’t have emotions or conscious…