He Says Therapy, She Says Maybe: How to Convince Your Partner to Give It a Try

Convincing your partner to try therapy can seem daunting, but try telling your partner, “I believe therapy could be a positive step for our relationship. Are you willing to chat about it?”.

As a therapist, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power of therapy for individuals and couples. It’s a space for personal growth, healing, and the development of healthier relationship dynamics. However, convincing a partner to take that initial step can sometimes feel like navigating a maze.

Here, I want to offer some guidance on how to approach this conversation with empathy and understanding, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling relationship for both of you.

Understanding the Resistance: Why They Might Be Hesitant

Before diving into the “how” of convincing your partner, let’s explore the “why” behind their resistance. Their apprehension could stem from various reasons, some emotional and others more practical.

• Emotional Concerns: Fear of vulnerability, a sense of shame surrounding therapy, or past negative experiences can create apprehension.
• Practical Concerns: Financial worries, time constraints, or logistical difficulties like scheduling appointments can also be hurdles.

By identifying the specific reasons behind their hesitation, you can tailor your approach to address them more effectively.

Starting the Conversation: Choosing the Right Time and Words

Timing is key. Pick a moment when you’re both calm and relaxed, free from distractions. Avoid accusatory language and focus on expressing your feelings and concerns in a caring and empathetic way.

For example, you could say,

 “Honey, I’ve noticed we’ve been having some communication issues lately. I think therapy could be a great way for us to learn how to better understand each other and strengthen our connection.”

Remember, the goal is to open a dialogue, not force a decision.

Highlighting the Benefits: It’s Not Just for Crisis

One of the most effective ways to encourage your partner is by showcasing the positive impact therapy can have on your relationship.

• Personal Growth: Therapy can equip you with tools for self-awareness, emotional regulation, and coping mechanisms, leading to a more fulfilling life for both of you.
• Improved Communication: Therapists can provide a safe space to learn healthy communication skills, fostering a deeper understanding and connection.
• Strengthening Your Bond: Therapy isn’t just for crisis situations. It’s a proactive way to build a stronger and more resilient relationship.

Therapy is an investment in your future together, a chance to build a foundation for a happier, healthier partnership.

Addressing Common Concerns: Let’s Talk Logistics

It’s normal for your partner to have concerns. Here’s how to address some common questions:

• Privacy and Confidentiality: Reassure them that therapy sessions are private and confidential. Therapists are bound by ethical guidelines to protect your information.
• Cost: Explore affordable options together. Many therapists offer sliding scales, and some insurance plans cover therapy sessions.
• Finding the Right Fit: Look for a therapist specializing in the issues you’re facing. Consider having a consultation session to ensure compatibility.

Remember, therapy is a journey, not a destination. It’s okay to have questions and concerns along the way.

The Power of Personal Stories: Sharing Positive Experiences

Sometimes, hearing success stories can make a difference. Share positive experiences of friends or family members who have benefited from therapy.

If you’re comfortable, share your own experience with therapy and how it has positively impacted your life. These personal anecdotes can normalize therapy and alleviate some of your partner’s anxieties.

Starting Small: It’s All About Progress, Not Perfection

The idea of committing to therapy can feel overwhelming for some. Suggest starting with a “trial period,” like attending a few sessions, to see if it feels like a good fit. This approach can make therapy less daunting and give your partner a chance to experience the benefits firsthand.

Set realistic expectations – progress takes time and consistent effort. Celebrate small victories, like scheduling the first appointment or attending the initial session.

Finding the Right Therapist: It’s All About Compatibility

The right therapist can make all the difference. Research therapists together and look for someone who specializes in the issues you’re facing. Compatibility is crucial, so consider scheduling an initial consultation to see if they click with you both.

A good therapist should create a safe and supportive environment where you and your partner feel comfortable expressing yourselves openly.

Offering Support and Encouragement: You’re in This Together

Your unwavering support can significantly influence your partner’s decision. Be patient and understanding, acknowledging their fears and anxieties. Celebrate small wins, like attending the first session or actively participating in discussions during therapy.

Show them you’re in this together, committed to working towards a more fulfilling relationship.

Using Media and Literature: Learning by Example

There are many resources available to help your partner gain a better understanding of therapy. Share books, articles, or online resources that  discuss the benefits of therapy and how it can improve relationships. Additionally, watching movies or TV shows that depict positive therapy experiences can make the idea more relatable and less intimidating.

These resources can provide a glimpse into the therapeutic process and help normalize seeking professional help.

Taking Small Steps: Individual Therapy as a Stepping Stone

If your partner is still hesitant about couples therapy, suggest starting with individual therapy. This can help them become more comfortable with the process and build trust in therapy before transitioning to couples sessions. Individual therapy can also address personal struggles that might be impacting the relationship.

Taking smaller steps can make the journey to therapy feel less overwhelming and pave the way for a more successful couples therapy experience down the line.

Leveraging Online Therapy Options: Convenience and Flexibility

Online therapy has become increasingly popular, offering a convenient and private alternative to traditional in-person sessions. Explore various online platforms and services that provide therapy sessions via video calls, chat, or phone.

The flexibility of online therapy can make it easier for your partner to give it a try, especially if scheduling in-person sessions poses a challenge.

Handling Persistent Resistance: Respecting Boundaries

Despite your best efforts, your partner may still resist the idea of therapy. It’s important to respect their boundaries and not pressure them. Instead, focus on maintaining open communication and exploring alternative solutions that can help improve your relationship.

Sometimes, just showing that you’re willing to listen and understand can make a big difference. Consider attending workshops or reading self-help books together as alternative ways to address communication issues or specific challenges.

Remember, therapy is just one option on the path to a stronger relationship.

Investing in a Brighter Future

Convincing a partner to try therapy requires patience, empathy, and a genuine desire to improve your relationship. By addressing their concerns, highlighting the benefits, and offering unwavering support, you can create a space where they feel comfortable exploring this option.

Remember, therapy is an investment in your future together, a chance to build a foundation for a happier, healthier partnership. Don’t wait to unlock the full potential of your relationship.

Ready to start your journey?

Convincing Your Partner to Try Therapy: It Can Be Difficult, But Worth It

If you’re looking for couples counseling in Atlanta, I can help. Together, we can develop the tools you need for a stronger, more fulfilling partnership. For anyone looking to deepen their understanding of these concepts or to start their journey toward a resilient, fulfilling relationship, I’m here to help.

Contact Dr. Scott Conkright today to schedule a consultation.

(404) 315-7150

SCOTT CONKRIGHT, PSY. D., P.C.