Welcome back to the Meaningful Happiness Podcast, where we explore the intricate world of emotions and relationships through the innovative framework of Affect Relational Therapy. I’m Dr. Scott Conkright, and today, we’re diving into the fascinating world of emotions, affects, and what I like to call your “emotional console.” If you’ve seen the hit movie Inside Out, you’re already familiar with the concept – but we’re going to take it a step further.

Understanding Your Emotional Console

Remember that scene in Inside Out where we see Riley’s emotions at work in her head? That’s not just clever animation – it’s a pretty spot-on representation of how our emotions function. I’ve been working on these theories for years, even before the movie came out. When I first watched it, I thought, “Wow, Disney Pixar just explained my theories with a multi-million dollar budget!” Talk about lucky timing!

But here’s the thing – while Inside Out does a great job of illustrating how our biological feeling states work, there’s so much more to explore. That’s where Affect Theory comes in.

The Power of Affect Theory

Most of us understand how our thoughts can influence our feelings. But have you ever considered how our feelings influence our thoughts? It’s a two-way street, and more often than not, our thinking is heavily influenced by our feeling states.

Wake up anxious? You’re likely to have anxious thoughts. Feeling distressed? Expect distressing thoughts. But if you’re in a good mood, curious and interested, your thoughts will follow suit. It’s not as simple as “think positive and you’ll feel positive.” Our emotional lives are far more complex than that.

The Nine Affects

In Affect Theory, we recognize nine distinct affects. These are the building blocks of our emotional experiences. Let’s break them down:

Interest-Excitement (Positive)
Enjoyment-Joy (Positive)
Surprise-Startle (Neutral)
Anger-Rage (Negative)
Distress-Anguish (Negative)
Fear-Terror (Negative)
Shame-Humiliation (Negative)
Disgust (Negative)
Dissmell (Negative)

The two positive affects – interest-excitement and enjoyment-joy – are particularly crucial. They’re the driving forces behind everything we care about, desire, and invest our energy in. Without these, where would our motivation come from?

Shame: The Barrier to Good Feelings

In my model, shame isn’t just about embarrassment. It’s any barrier to good stuff – good feelings, good connections. It’s that slump you see in a disappointed child (or puppy!) when they can’t continue exploring or playing. Understanding shame is key to managing our emotional lives effectively.

The Complexity of Emotions

Here’s where it gets interesting. In real life, we often experience multiple feeling states simultaneously. You can be sad and happy at the same time, or angry but still interested in something. Our emotional console needs to juggle all these complex states.

Taking Control of Your Console

The goal is to be in charge of your emotional console. We all have more or less the same basic setup – the same affects – but how we manage them can vary wildly. Here’s what you need to do:

Learn to identify your affects
Understand how to access all affects when appropriate
Develop the ability to dismiss affects when they’re not helpful

For example, if shame always triggers anger on your console, you might struggle in intimate relationships. By understanding this pattern, you can work on changing it.

The Evolution of Our Emotional Console

As we grow and mature, our emotional console becomes more complex. Just like Riley in Inside Out 2, we gain access to a wider range of feeling states. Our memories become more nuanced, and our emotional experiences more layered.

This is why it’s so important to stay aware of what you’re feeling, how your memories inform your emotions, and what helps or hinders your connections with others. It’s all about taking responsibility for your emotional life.

Affects and Memory

In Inside Out, we see Joy taking memories and storing them. While this is a simplified version, it touches on an important truth: affects play a crucial role in what gets stored in our memory. Strong emotional experiences tend to stick with us more than neutral ones.

The Goal: A Meaningful and Fulfilling Life

By understanding and mastering your emotional console, you’re setting yourself up for a life that not only feels good but is deeply meaningful. That’s the ultimate goal of Affect Relational Therapy – to help you live the life you truly want to live.

Practical Applications of Affect Theory

Now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s look at how you can apply these concepts in your daily life:

Emotional Awareness: Start by simply noticing your emotions throughout the day. What affects are at play? How do they influence your thoughts and actions?

Trigger Identification: Pay attention to what triggers specific affects in you. Does criticism always lead to shame? Does uncertainty always spark fear?

Console Management: When you notice an unhelpful affect taking over, consciously try to engage a more beneficial one. For example, if shame is leading to anger, can you engage your interest affect instead?

Relationship Enhancement: Use your understanding of affects to improve your relationships. Can you recognize when a loved one is experiencing shame? How can you respond in a way that promotes connection rather than disconnection?

Self-Compassion: Remember that all affects serve a purpose. Instead of judging yourself for feeling certain ways, approach your emotional experiences with curiosity and compassion.

The Role of Affect Theory in Mental Health

As a psychologist, I’ve seen firsthand how Affect Theory can revolutionize mental health treatment. Many mental health issues stem from difficulties in managing affects. By addressing these root causes, we can often achieve more lasting results than through traditional cognitive approaches alone.

For instance, chronic anxiety often involves an overactive fear affect combined with shame about feeling afraid. By helping clients understand and regulate these affects, we can create more effective treatment plans.

Affect Theory and AI: The Missing Link?

Interestingly, Affect Theory might hold some keys to advancing artificial intelligence. Current AI models focus heavily on cognition, but they lack the motivational force that affects provide in human consciousness. As we continue to develop AI, incorporating an understanding of affects could lead to more human-like artificial intelligences.

Conclusion: Your Emotional Journey

Understanding your emotional console is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, practice, and patience. But the rewards are immense. By mastering your affects, you can create a life filled with meaningful connections, personal growth, and genuine happiness.

Remember, you’re the captain of your emotional ship. With the right tools and knowledge, you can navigate even the stormiest emotional seas. So, are you ready to take control of your console?

Keep exploring, stay curious, and don’t forget to give yourself grace along the way. After all, we’re all just trying to figure out this complex emotional landscape together.

Until next time, this is Dr. Scott Conkright, signing off. Here’s to your journey towards meaningful happiness!

Feeling these emotions is normal, and understanding them can help you grow! Need to talk to someone who gets it?

Explore how Affect Relational Therapy can guide you through your emotional landscape and unlock the potential for deeper connections in your relationships.

Ready to take the next step? The Relationship Workshops: The Essentials can equip you with the tools and understanding to build and nurture healthy, fulfilling relationships. Learn more and secure your spot today!

Understanding Your Emotional Console